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The House Mission It is the mission of The House to unite Chicago in the spirit of Community through amazing feats of Storytelling. The House Motto "One-Hundred Percent" The House Oath It is the sworn duty of The House
to Entertain The House Credo In this space
the Giant is slain; In this space The House Call - Rooster Crow - The House Law The House is: Passionate The House Handshake The "Up-Top" Step 1. Successfully complete a task of any kind. Step 2. Approach a peer and exclaim "Up-Top!" Step 3. Raise right arm in an arc-like fashion, timing the arc so that the hands of both peers reach their respective apogees simultaneously. Step 4. Upon reaching apogee, quickly bring hands together, creating a slapping sound. Step 5. If the execution of the completed task was exemplary or the task especially difficult, it is possible, though dangerous, to repeat this maneuver with the left hand. Step 6. If more than one peer is present, repeat steps 2-5 with each member of group. Note: By no means is this technique to be called a "High Five." The House Treat Scootcheroos Ingredients: 1 cup Sugar Directions: In a sauce pan, mix sugar and syrup, bring to a boil to create a delicious sugary goo. In a large mixing bowl, combine Rice Krispies, peanut butter and sugary goo. Mit it all together really well. Spread the resulting blob into a brownie pan. Now, melt down your chocolate/buttterscotch chips, don't let them boil or burn, just get them nice and smooth. Spread the chocolaty goodness evenly across the top of the Rice Krispies mixture. Let cool, cut and serve. (If you bring these to the show, you will get a discount) The House Beverage Shiner Bock (If you bring this to a show, you will get a discount.) The House Flower The Tiger Lily The House Tree The Mighty Oak The House Flower The Tiger Lily The House Bird The House Finch (Carpodacus mexicanus) Originally a native of the Rocky Mountains from Mexico to southern Canada, the gregarious and tuneful House Finch has become one of the most popular birds at feeders across the country. In the 1940s, cage bird dealers in Los Angeles began illegally selling House Finches to New York City pet stores as "Hollywood Finches." Once they discovered they could be fined for selling this inconspicuous little bird, the stores did what any panicked retailer would do and dumped their inventory, but the finches wouldn't go away: they showed a resilience that surprised the entire country! First, Long Island, then the World!! From humble colonies among the suburbs on Long Island, the House Finch began taking off, infiltrating the entire eastern seaboard. By the 1970s, he had adapted to every environment imaginable, and developed a taste for seeds, insects, suet, and bread crumbs, in short, anything dropped purposely or accidentally by humans. By the 1990s, the entire country, including Hawaii, became home to the invading masses: they even colonized new habitats within their old range! Now at home in cities, suburbs, mountains, prairies, deserts, and forests, the House Finch is a true American success story, complete with tragedy. Even an outbreak of deadly disease couldn't stop them!! In the mid-1990s, success caught up with the House Finch. An outbreak of conjunctivitis (a disease that in humans causes an irritating crust to cover the eyes) decimated their numbers and put in doubt their continued spread. Blinded and humiliated, the surviving finches sequestered themselves and for the last part of the century, they became scarce in the very cities where a few years before they had been welcome invaders. But after a few years of recovery, they're on the rise again. Wreakers of Havoc, Defenders of Beauty!! The consequence of prosperity is increased need, and the House Finch has prospered indeed. But spectacular need often comes at the price of making deadly enemies. The House Finch has been almost disastrous to some fruit farmers. He has invaded berry, plum, apple, and peach farms, sometimes in massive flocks that can strip entire trees during hard autumns. It's no wonder, then, that he is considered a pest to be dealt with in the most deadly terms by these beleaguered tillsmen. But for city dwellers, the House Finch has been a welcome break from the raucous sparrows and starlings and grackles that in the past have dominated urban bird-life. The male, with his bright red bib and warbling melody is a step up from the clacks and squawks of his annoying neighbors. In fact, the personality of the House Finch is decidedly neighborly among birds. Aggressive House Sparrows and cannibal Starlings have been nothing but nuisances, but the House Finch shares his trough, and has even been known to share his nest with other species. What a guy! Next time: The House Finch: One Male, Seven Females, so many Harems!! Also, the op-ed: The Female House Finch: on the Verge of Franchise? For further information on this or any other bird in the known universe, consult Mr. Shawn Pfautsch. He's good like that. The House Dinosaur Deinonychus (dyne-ON-ik-us) The Terrible Claw |
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